I feel like I’ve been tricked. I thought I needed, or wanted, more space. We lived in a tiny one bedroom flat for 7 years and I dreamt about having a second bedroom, our own outside space, a bath, a bigger kitchen. And I got it. We struck gold with our house and got it for super cheap. The last year and a half we’ve worked on it solidly, stripping floors and uncovering fireplaces.

I’m starting to have some doubts…

We’ve spent a lot of time lately in our converted VW crafter van and I’ve noticed a pattern of anxiety every time we return home. The van is small, and we only take what we absolutely need. It’s a very minimalist space and way of life, but amazing being able to wake up wherever we want and have coffee with a different view every morning. All the stuff in our house feels like it’s weighing me down.

Instagram accounts of home interiors that I used to love now feel a little bizarre to me. Whole corners of rooms showcasing items that probably never get touched. I’m not judging, that’s been me down to a tee for the last decade. I have a display dustpan and brush, I’m the literal definition of what I’m starting to dislike. It’s just not making me happy anymore.

I see a lot of people selling everything they own and either moving into a van, or massively downsizing their lives and it looks like bliss. The burden of all the things, and working all the hours to pay for those things, all gone.

So, choices. We’re not sure exactly what, but something will definitely be changing this year. We’re both agreed that we don’t need all this space (I’ve been in my front garden about 3 times in nearly 2 years), and we both want to spend a lot more time travelling. We want different lives and different priorities. We want to work for money we want, not need, and we don’t want to feel tied down by things. I’m still very grateful that we’ve managed to be homeowners for so many years when so many people would love to have a house but can’t, but things change and I think it’s time for a new project, and to live a little smaller.